Studies show that adults overestimate how good they are at listening. Other studies indicate that the average adult listens twice as much as he or she talks. Yet adults are awful listeners. Why is this happening? The human brain has the capacity to digest as much as four hundred words per minute of information. Even “fast” talkers speak at around 125 words per minute. Therefore, three-quarters of your brain could be doing something else while someone is speaking to you. Thus, adults are easily distracted while in the act of listening.
The business implications are huge. Listening is a key leadership skill differentiator. Listening is the glue for building and sustaining teams and collaborations. Listening is inherent in our virtual and live communications. Yet listening is not taught. It is assumed that you already know how to listen.
Let me introduce you to three levels of listening as an approach to teach yourself how to be a better listener
Level 1: Internal Listening
The focus is inward instead of external, and it is very personal. During internal listening, your attention is on the sound of your inner voice and what it is telling you about the things around you and your current situation. Internal listening is a focus on your inner dialogue that involves your own thoughts, opinions, judgments, feelings, and conclusions. Skills you may use in Internal Listening are silence, silent reflection, and meditation.
Level 2: Focused Listening
You are listening with a laser-like focus on the other person. In Focused Listening, you are paying attention to the other person’s facial expression, eye contact, hand gestures, word choices, tone and pacing of their speech. You are also noticing the message behind the words, the other person’s agenda, and the way they see the situation. You are also sensitive to the other person’s energy level. Basically, you are tightly connected to listening without distraction or interruption. Skills you may use in Focused Listening are paraphrasing, summarizing, and asking open-ended questions to gain greater clarity.
Level 3: Global Listening
This is the most active level where listening moves to consider your environment from a 360-degree perspective. Global Listening is whole body listening where you make great use of your senses: what you see, hear, smell, and feel. Most people need practice in Global Listening because we do not use it often and can be a new realm of listening. To exercise Global Listening use your skill of intuition, receiving information about your surroundings like the temperature in the room, amount of light or darkness. Notice the other person’s emotions. To check accuracy, you can ask: “I sense that you’re frustrated. Is that right?”*
Bottom Line:
To be the best listener, you must intentionally choose and be aware of your level of listening. If you want to reflect on your inner thoughts to gain clarity, intentionally choose Level 1 Internal Listening. If you are building and maintaining business relationships, intentionally choose Level 2 Focused Listening. When in a team or group situation or you want to access your intuition, use Level 3, Global Listening.
